Why am I always the mediator??? Always, ever since I was a wee child.... I really don't mind, I like for people to feel as though they can confide in me, but I can't make everyone's freaking life decisions for them. I can tell you my opinion, but it ends there! Also, I offer no official handbooks to my friend's and roommates, I've yet to write them, it'll take me awhile.
I'm realaxing mostly for the rest of the day to let my heartrate drop to it's normal level. I spent all day yesterday staring at my math book, but managed to complete 15 assignments before my test today. Well, let's be honest, by the end I was basically frantically copying. But the test is over and that's realieving. Even if the grade is an F. (I'm sinking like a puppy dog in trouble) I was talking to Karalee last night from New York as she was on a train on her way to Manhatten to take class from Ray Leaper... damn her... I was telling her that the main reason for me even to be worrying about finishing the assignments at that point was to spare myself the embarissment of having my teacher inquire as to where the missing assignments were. I was trying to find the best way do go down with the little dignity I've got left. You know like all the men standing around with their pocket watches in suits on the movie Titanic? They knew they were going to die, the ship was sinking, so they put on their best face and went out as respectively as they knew how. I decided just to finish out the semiester, do the best I could, study for the final and give it my best shot. Hopefully this will lessen the sickening feeling in my stomach as I discover my "unexpected" failure.
I cannot believe November is over. This leaves us with nothing but hustle and bustle, lights, cheer, all that good stuff til the end of the year. ps, I'm 3 weeks away from being face to face with my best friend in the whole world... I've got lots to look forward to, but this also leaves me having to make decisions about life which I hate. My motto is procrastination through and through.
Also, I've become a victim morningism. You know, morning people have it. I think my medication is the culprit. Either way it's disrupting my life and forcing my body to thrive on the precious three and half hours of sleep a night. Is that even enough to finish a REM cycle. Maybe I'll blame my "new found" failure in school on this. (Fingers tapping...) Yeeessss, good plan.
Song: Out Hud, How Long (i think I'll check for sure, track 6)
I finally found it at Borders two days ago. Chris is responsible for this one. It's so fun and goes right along with our jerky 80's moves. Put it on and dance your ass off!!!
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4 comments:
And yet still, you amaze me again. Thank you so much for calling me one of your friends. I feel incredibly honored by that, more than you will ever probably know. I definitely consider you my inspiration in more than one area (and I don't just mean fashion). I love you, Can.
i loooove that song. what am i going to do when you and chris are out of my life?? i cant be expected to find good music on my own!!! eek. so, we really need to get together sometime. i feel we can help each other.
I've said it once, I'll say it again...math never determined failure or success in anyone! Thanks Heavens!!! What a boring mix of numbers life would be if that were the case. Oh, and the great things about best friends...near or far...is that no matter how much time has evolved, they love you for being you.
Love ya, babe!
You may not ever read this.. considering I'm a few months behind, but as I was reading your latest this title caught my attention so I read on. Um when you said "you best friend in the whole world" was that me or Corb you were excited to see? I'm thinking Corb.. But I'm fine with being a runner up.. You hadn't seen him for longer. Anyway, I miss you and wouldn't have changed a moment we spent together when I was home. (except maybe when you ditched me in SL) This is a sad confession, but with the ways of my family right now, I'm not wishing to be home any time soon, but I miss you and would choose you any day. I wish you were here.
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