I don't know what it is about this time of year, but everyone around me is hooking up!! I find this unacceptable for 3 reasons. 1. Lack of people to complain about my lack of boys 2. With all of these perfect relationships, again I lack understanding of my insignificant boy problems. 3. It makes me confused as to if I really want a boy or not, I sort of like not liking boys. People are trying to tell me that I need one. Love in the air is just a big fat reminder of how undesirable I am and how little I have to offer. On a happy note, for the most part I really like all of the men my girlys have been choosing. Back to my bitter self... My roommate is talking about her crush, I've heard about him non-stop for like three days straight. I'm done. I've sat still for long enough. I should be rewarded with a treat.
Is it wrong to want some random person to just come across you, think you're fabulous and everything is perfect without having to lift a finger? I remember at one time thinking I was really something, but as I grow older and wiser I realize how taxing dating can get. Not that I date or anything, jease I'm way too tired to put forth any sort of effort which is probably the root of my problems.
As for real life, I mistakenly called my mother this morning for sympathy and advice, instead I got the beginnings of a lecture. I don't remember the last time I spoke with the woman without regretting it afterward... While I hate this, I've long since come to terms with the fact that we will never have the sort of relationship where I feel as though I can tell her things without being judged afterward. We are most definately complete opposites. What can you do? I can't begin to place importance on what she lectures me about when she presumes to be completely closed minded about my life's passions. So sure that she's got everything right, the makings of happiness. While I don't disreguard these things completely, I can't drop the things that really make me the happiest. As for my dad, unless it's about my car or a mail-in rebate, we don't speak....
Song: Amos Lee, Arms of a Woman
"I am at ease in the arms of a woman, although now, most of my days I spend alone." I liked having a boyfriend at one time. I got a really great acoustic version of this song. His show is on Saturday!!!
About Me
- Dice
- "I'm not sorry I met you, I'm not sorry it's over, I'm not sorry... There's nothing to say."
3 comments:
i hate you both.
Isn't it amazing how so much of our lives is spent in the search for internal satisfaction with ourselves...yet how so many of us are so good at masking our discontent? You certainly have a way of appearing very content and at ease with life and its series of games. As far as the issues with the mother-branded sympathy--or any other type--don't expect to find fair judgement with those who don't understand you and what is important. However, maybe they don't understand because we don't let them--maybe if we did, they could be better qualified to dish out some synchronized sympathies. Who knows? Maybe it all comes around in a big circle! Single life finds you in some of your highest highs and lowest lows. Everyone's got to do it! Lucky us! Just keep telling yourself that there's a reason and that you're "building character." That's supposed to make you feel better, right? Either way, props to you for your support of your friends and their quests for happiness. Now, isn't it time to start working on your own? You deserve it!
It is so amazing how alike our lives are in some ways. Firstly, the relationships with both parents are strikingly similar. Then the way I feel, or wish I didn't feel about men is the same. I just wish I was as fabulous as you so that I could pull it off. You seriously are my inspiration. Why aren't you here to tell me not to worry?
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